Review: Captain America: The First Avenger Aims for Cheese … and Succeeds.

Captain America: The First Avenger has a strong opening hour, a noble achievement.  Unfortunately it can’t sustain that standard of quality, devolving into hackneyed melodrama in the final hour. This is a shame, because a world-beating Captain America film could have created unassailable momentum for The Avengers. Alas, it’s not to be. What we have here is a slightly below average movie, doomed by choppy editing and cringe-worthy characterizations. So it goes.

After the iconic Marvel Studios logo we’re greeted by distant headlights in the snow. Orchestral strings pace the opening moments, faceless men emerging from the shadows to have a look at what appears to be a spaceship. What is it that’s sticking out of the snow? And what does the futuristic-looking craft contain? Whoooosh, we’re whisked back to Norway in 1942, World War 2, at the outset of the Nazi occupation. Hugo Weaving is Johann Schmidt, but he’s doing his best Christoph Waltz impression, and he’s desperately looking for something. Something powerful. This mysterious power source eludes him, and it’s the final piece to his HYDRA puzzle. HYDRA is the super secret science-based weaponry unit that Hitler has funded, and Schmidt is the evil fellow who is tasked with evil project management. Believe it or not, HYDRA is WORSE than the Nazis, at least according to the mythology of Captain America.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “Umm, sure, but when does Captain America his own self enter the picture?” Next! He’s up next, and he stands about 5’4?, 130lbs at the outset of his introduction. He’s small, but scrappy, and he positively HATES bullies. Extra credit if you surmise that attribute might come up again. Anyway, he’s trying to join the army, but he’s striking out, because he’s too sickly. We’ve all been there. His best pal tells him to get over it, soon he’ll be the only eligible bachelor in a town with millions of single girls. The entire “smallification of Chris Evans” effect is handled with the help of Benjamin Button technology, and it’s effective enough to be jarring. Your mind knows real-life Chris Evans is yoked, but your eyes keep demanding that he’s wee. You’re certain that eventually a transformation will happen. But how, and more importantly, when?

At this point, we can all agree, based on the trailers and posters, that Captain America does join the fight. So we’ll leave the rest for your viewing enjoyment. As mentioned prior, the first half of the film comes off relatively well, Tommy Lee Jones plays a hard-nosed general who underestimates Steve Rogers’ abilities. Hayley Atwell (as Peggy Carter) is the love interest, she’s worried and charmed by the Captain’s transformation into an elite fighting machine. Finally, Stanley Tucci is the mad scientist on the American side of the equation, the natural counterbalance to HYDRA’s nefarious plots.

The real problems for Captain America: The First Avenger come when the momentum of the piece is undone by absolutely brutal editing and dialogue. Examples abound, but one good example is when Captain America is scheduled to receive an award … which he doesn’t show up to receive. They call his name, they’ve set up the podium, and the audience looks on expectantly. But Captain America is off doing his thing, or at least that’s the inference. But didn’t anyone think to check if he was actually there before they went up to the mic to introduce him? Did he RSVP? Little items like that kept adding up until they became a much bigger issue. Another example occurs when a gal throws herself at The Captain, he attempts to parry her physical advances, which of course leads to his actual love interest walking in to “catch them in the act,” all so we can have a 15-minute misunderstanding. It’s focus group character management at its worse. But as you’ve come this far, I’ll give you three more rapid fire moments of murderous interaction. In one scene Captain America has done something particularly gallant … to which one of his team members shouts, “Let’s hear it for Captain America!” Cue applause. Another primary character can be heard saying, “You don’t give up, do you?” and “Fire again, kill him!” in the thick of a battle. I get that the film glances wistfully back to a simpler and gentler time but the writing itself pales in comparison to modern hero narratives. No chances were taken, and nothing new was attempted. The film is a composite of what a superhero film should look like.

The film that Captain America: The First Avenger most homages? Pearl Harbor, a prime example of ham-fisted and forced relationships cribbing any sense of authenticity. Captain America punches and kicks his way through the Nazis (and worse), but the movie itself can’t find a foothold. Yes, in the final moments they manage to logically pivot to The Avengers, a film one can’t help but look forward to, but where lasting impact is concerned Captain America: The First Avenger comes up far short.

Grade: C-

Captain America? What About Captain Britain?

Captain America is only hours away from making his big-screen debut, and if tracking and word of mouth holds true, he’ll be a smash hit with Americans and international audiences alike. The summer of superheroes will go out with a patriotic bang, which will undoubtedly encourage studios to dig into their comic book rights catalog and see if they have a nationalistic hero or heroine that’s ripe for adaptation. (Reportedly, Warner Bros and DC Comics have already started, and have dusted off Sgt. Rock as their answer to Steve Rogers.)

If I may be so bold, Marvel, why not jump into another character of red, white, and blue, and make a Captain Britain movie?

Unlike his Yankee cousin, Captain Britain has languished in pop culture obscurity. I’m not even sure he’s very popular in his homeland. If my visits to Forbidden Planet were an accurate assessment of UK geekery, the usual suspects like Batman, Superman, Wolverine, and Green Lantern dominate the market. (There was probably some Thor and Iron Man in there too, but who can find anything with all the Doctor Who displays?) Captain Britain just kicks around, dust collecting on his Amulet of Power, wondering why he’s so unloved. After all, he’s the only Marvel hero to have ever been penned by Alan “I’m sure you’ve heard of me” Moore. It’s downright unusual for a Moore character to be abandoned; even his run on Swamp Thing is spoken of in hushed whispers.

Sure, Captain Britain’s background is a little convoluted and cryptic. It starts out typical and marketable enough. An ordinary English boy named Brian Braddock loses his parents to hideous circumstances, he’s troubled and guilt-ridden, dodges death thanks to supernatural intervention, and is promptly gifted with superpowers by the universal guardians, Merlyn and Roma. (Isn’t that great? Roma may have nothing to do with Rome, but it still has that great Eagle and Dragon mythos going.) Naturally, things get bizarre with multiple Earths, confusion as to where his powers reside (His suit? His amulet? His scepter? His sense of self worth?), multiple deaths and resurrections, and a twin sister who actually switched races. But this is comic mythology, and these things happen. A good movie can cherry pick the good storylines and iron it all out.

And Captain Britain does have some great storylines and imagery. There’s a moment in Britain’s heroic run when he’s returning to England after doing a student exchange in America (where he roomed with Spider-Man!), and his plane is attacked by otherworldly forces. He attempts to save his fellow passengers and goes mad in the process. He experiences a vision of standing stones, which are — naturally — standing on the Isle of Avalon, where Arthur isn’t dead, but captive. Arthur reaches out to his fellow hero, and tries to guide him to safety and sanity. It’s probably these staid trappings which makes him boring to the UK, but really, how do you make a patriotic superhero without referring to the king who will someday return in England’s most desperate hour?

Mr. Braddock also has a good, Batmanish well of sorrow to draw on. As he suffers the slings and arrows of superhero fortune, he slowly discovers that his life has never really been his own. Merlyn and Roma plotted out his destiny long before he was born. He had no choice but to become Captain Britain. Even death is no escape, as they simply reconstitute him from whatever DNA bits they have left. What is a superhero to do? Suffer nobly? Try to buck the system? This is the stuff of great drama, and it’s not exactly the story Marvel has told before as all of their heroes have chosen to become something special. (Yes, Thor is born a god, but he has to choose whether he’ll be a powerful leader, or a powerless buffoon. Britain doesn’t have that choice. He’s constantly manipulated back into his suit.)

And the costume! Britain’s uniform may be the one superhero getup that doesn’t need major tweaking to work on a three-dimensional human. It’s sleek, stylish, and modern, and the Union Jack just flows on it, making it look like something a rock star could wear. (How did Captain America wind up with chainmail and a shield, and Britain walk away in motorcycle leather? It should be reversed.)

I can go on and on, and make your eyes swim with “and then, he teamed up with SHIELD!”, but there’s really no need. The best reason to make a Captain Britain movie is this: America hogs the superheroes. We’ve got them all. The only ones who loudly and proudly retain their “otherness” are Thor, Wonder Woman, and Wolverine, and even they tend to spend more time in New York than their homelands. I love America, but it seems unfair to demand Superman fight for only our ways, Wonder Woman bedeck her bosom with our eagle, and Thor to relocate Asgard above Oklahoma. (This happened.) Wouldn’t it be nice if England had Captain Britain, and Russia had Black Widow, and Japan had the Silver Samurai, and they were all good (if occasionally at odds) guys and girls? Shouldn’t a global, save-the-world blockbuster actually include other citizens of the planet?

Perhaps that’s a little maudlin and It’s-A-Small Worldish. Maybe it’s enough solidarity that we’ve got British and Australian men playing all the superheroes. That’s fine. I just want Captain Britain to rock that costume and fly the rainy English skies. I want him to join forces with Captain America in a show of solidarity, and be on call for the Avengers when they fly into another time zone. I want him to lose his memory and go live in Cornwall as a hermit, forcing Tony Stark to come after him with a been there, done that, put the suit back on pep talk. Introducing forgotten or lonely characters is what a crossover universe is meant for, and I can’t think of a more worthy candidate for an update than Captain Britain.