While Transformers: Dark of the Moon is the movie that most people will be enjoying (well, watching) this weekend, Hollywood has a little thing called “counter-programming,” too, that enables you to see other new films. But there are two counter-programming options this time, the Tom Hanks comedy Larry Crowne and the Selena Gomez comedy Monte Carlo. If all you know is that you don’t want to see the giant-alien-robots-that-are-also-cars movie, how do you know which of these other two you want to see instead?! Let us help you.
Larry Crowne vs. Monte Carlo: How to Tell if You’re the Target Audience
Do you know what a “Selena Gomez” is?
YES: See Monte Carlo.
NO: See Larry Crowne.
What about a “Leighton Meester” and a “Cory Monteith”?
YES: See Monte Carlo.
NO: See Larry Crowne.
Are you old enough to remember when Tom Hanks wore a dress so he could live in a women-only apartment building?
YES: See Larry Crowne.
NO: See Monte Carlo.
Do you love the television series Community but wish it had more Oscar-winning actors and fewer laughs?
YES: See Larry Crowne.
NO: See Monte Carlo.
When you hear that a movie’s premise is that three teenage girls go to Europe and one of them is mistaken for a princess because she happens to look just like her, and so the ordinary girl and the princess switch places for a few days, can you think of anything that could possibly make the movie sound any worse?
YES, THAT SOUNDS OK: See Monte Carlo.
NO, I CANNOT THINK OF ANYTHING WORSE: See Larry Crowne.
What if it’s a movie where Tom Hanks gets fired and goes back to community college, where his teacher is Julia Roberts?
YES, THAT DOES SOUND WORSE: Monte Carlo
NO, THAT STILL SOUNDS BETTER THAN THE SWITCHING-PLACES-WITH-A-PRINCESS THING: Larry Crowne
Are you already upset that we’ve described the Monte Carlo character as a “princess” when she’s actually just a very rich and powerful young lady, not technically a princess?
YES, U SHULD GET UR FACTS STRAIGHT B4 U WRITE ABOUT A MOVIE!!: See Monte Carlo.
NO, THE DETAILS ARE IRRELEVANT: See Larry Crowne.
Are you baffled by Tom Hanks’ continued association with Nia Vardalos, the Big Fat Greek Wedding lady?
YES, SERIOUSLY, WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?: See Monte Carlo.
NO, IT SEEMS QUITE REASONABLE THAT A HOLLYWOOD LEGEND AND A-LIST CELEBRITY WOULD KEEP COLLABORATING WITH A ONE-HIT WONDER FROM 10 YEARS AGO: See Larry Crowne.
Is it your opinion that no product from the Disney Channel teen-idol factory is complete until it has starred in its own movie?
YES: See Monte Carlo.
NO: See Larry Crowne.
Honestly, at this point, is there anything Tom Hanks could do that would diminish his standing in your eyes?
NO, THERE IS NOTHING: See Larry Crowne.
YES, TO BE FRANK, TOM HANKS IS ON THIN ICE WITH ME: Whatever you do, don’t see Larry Crowne.
