Trailer Power Rankings: ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’ Owns the Week

It happens to be Friday, and as a result, it’s time for the best and the worst of this week’s trailers. Now, I have to level with you. This week it’s mostly worst, with a huge batch of silly kids movies and a few other dumb-dumb items thrown in for good measure. But, what’s actually good will blow you right away.

From the dizzying heights of Wall Street comes Martin Scorsese’s latest shiny bauble, while down in the dumps is Robert De Niro waving a gun and barking like a crazy man. Never fear however, there’s everything in between from animated films about turkeys to exotic British cop thrillers, terrifying found footage horror schlock to the perfect, remarkable depiction of the devastation of alcoholism. Sounds depressing, but it’s actually great.

In any case, let us make with all alarming alacrity towards the trailers, and find our fate sealed therein.

1.) ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’

Maybe the best movie ever? Scorsese is back with his main man DiCaprio, in a period piece about greed, women, power, sex and money. No, it’s not Gatsby 2, it’s something better, a millionaire playboy deeply embedded in Wall Street. Get ready to love everything about the next few minutes, this trailer will improve your life. It’s also kind of hard to explain with words. It’s just beyond.
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jon Favreau, Spike Jonze
Release Date: November 15, 2013

2.) ‘Drinking Buddies’

What happens when best friends who work together and hang out all the time end up dating other people? Can their friendship survive? This comedy looks amazing, filled with brains and beauty both. But, I mean, if I was any of these people I would have trouble picking between the two options offered to me. Hilarious and charming. Must see.
Starring: Anna Kendrick, Olivia Wilde, Jake Johnson
Release Date: July 25, 2013

3.) ‘The Spectacular Now’

One of the best films from the Sundance Film Festival centers on the problems of young love, coming of age, and teenage alcoholism. Director James Ponsoldt is best known for directing “Smashed” and this film is built of the same beautiful stuff, elegant, strong and charming. Shailene Woodley gives a knockout performance, but it’s Miles Teller
Starring: Shailene Woodley, Miles Teller, Jennifer Jason Leigh
Release Date: August 2, 2013

4.) ‘Blood’

A family of cops descend into madness in this thriller with a twist that is totally given away in the middle of it so don’t watch maybe, but there’s lots of Shakespearean backstabbing and plotting and Paul Bettany doing his thing which is perfection. From the dark mood to the despairing ending, “Blood” tells a terrifying tale of vengeance.
Starring: Paul Bettany, Mark Strong, Brian Cox
Release Date: 2013

5.) ‘Crystal Fairy’

A strange little comedic ditty of a film finds Michael Cera trying to take drugs with a bunch of new found friends in South America, leading him on both a quest for the drugs and a spirit journey once they are found. If you’ve ever wanted to see another side of Michael Cera, this is your chance. Director Sebastian Silva won directing awards at Sundance for this and his other fantastic film, “Magic Magic”.
Starring: Michael Cera, Gaby Hoffmann, Agustín Silva
Release Date: 2013

5.) ‘Anchorman 2'

The boys are back in town! So many years after the stirring success of “Anchorman” comes the sequel, only now, everyone in it is way more famous than they were. It’s the ’80s and Ron Burgundy will struggle to stay relevant on the news. I
Starring: Steve Carell, Will Ferrell, Paul Rudd
Release Date: December 20, 2013

6.) ‘Touchy Feely’

Another film from Sundance, unfortunately not as good as it should have been. The tale of a masseuse and her sudden aversion to touching people, as she struggles to get along with her depressed brother and his concerned daughter. The film is sweet enough and vivid, though it lacks some mysterious essential quality. But hey, decide for yourself.
Starring: Rosemarie DeWitt, Scoot McNairy, Ellen Page
Release Date: Sept. 6, 2013

7.) ‘Empire State’

A period piece! With Hemmy! Bank heist in the ’70s or ’80s or something, who knows. A security guard who has always wanted to become a cop gets caught up in the middle of fraud and worse. Thrilling! Maybe. Remains to be seen if it’s actually any good, as Emma Roberts and Liam Hemsworth tend to be a little… how you say… lackluster. Also, The Rock will be in every action movie ever, from here on out. Get used to it.
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Liam Hemsworth, Emma Roberts
Release Date: August 23, 2013

8.) ‘Evidence’

Finally a found-footage horror film that plays artfully on the genre. Sure, it still looks crappy and formulaic, but at least there’s a framework in place. If you can get past imagining Stephen Moyer always about to say “Sookie!” then you’ve got a story about an artful serial killer, and a series of tapes found at a crime scene. Watch the tapes, uncover the murders.
Starring: Nolan Gerard Funk, Stephen Moyer, Torrey DeVitto
Release Date: July 19, 2013

9.) ‘The Colony’

In the future, the entire planet has fallen prey to global warming and it never stops snowing, for some reason. There’s foul play afoot, someone has to investigate, stuff’s going down, and the remaining survivors must protect their dwindling numbers from an even more serious threat. I just feel that maybe we’ve seen this movie many times. Show us something new!
Starring: Laurence Fishburne, Kevin Zegers, Bill Paxton
Release Date: 2013

10.) ‘Free Birds’

Another terrible animated film that no one really wants to see, but hey, it’s about a turkey who is pardoned by the president, and then travels back in time in order to save all turkeys, ever. Kind of cute? Not really, but again, maybe a child will love it! Since that’s who this movie is for. Children.
Starring: Owen Wilson, Woody Harrelson, Amy Poehler
Release Date: November 1, 2013

11.) ‘The Lego Movie’

A movie with legos in it! Starring in it! Yeah! This is a hugely heavy week for animated children’s movies, and this one looks like it will please anyone with a fifth grade imagination and a true love of legos. Batman shows up at one point. Quips. There’s some jokes, I mean. Ugh.
Starring: Elizabeth Banks, Morgan Freeman, Will Arnett
Release Date: 2014

12.) ‘Frozen’

Animated teaser trailer, I don’t even know what this movie is actually about since this teaser is just a snowman and an… elk? fighting over a carrot. Literally. Kids will maybe like this movie when we finally find out what it’s about, but until then… elk. Carrot. Stuff.
Starring: Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, Idina Menzel
Release Date: November 27, 2013

13.) ‘Compulsion’

Low-budget, low-rent fake DePalma looking crap. Heather Graham plays a chef who finds out her boyfriend is cheating on her, and decides to get crazy and stalk her neighbor Carrie-Anne Moss. You guyyyys, remember when they were both in better movies? No, me either really, but this one just looks like a weird high-school play. Does Kevin Dillon look like a cheaper Ethan Hawke to anyone? Just me? OK.
Starring: Mike Chikoski, Matt Connors, Kevin Dillon
Release Date: June 21, 2013

14.) ‘Killing Season’

Ha ha ha. Okay, so Robert De Niro is some kind of war guy and also a dad, and then John Travolta is Russian or something, and seriously this stuff is mesmerizing, how did it even get made? Like, it can’t even matter what happens, it’s all guns and punching and glaring. Give yourself a good laugh and drink this one in.
Starring: Robert De Niro, John Travolta, Milo Ventimiglia
Release Date: July 12, 2013

Come back next week for more rankings and way more trailers!

Categories: Columns, Trailer Roundup

Tags: Amanda mae meyncke, Anchorman 2, Movie trailers, The Spectacular Now, Touchy Feely, Trailer power rankings, Wolf of wall street

Trailer Showdown: Ain’t Them The Week’s Best New Trailers

Get ready for the fast, the furious, the incredible Trailer Showdown! That special time of the week we called “Friday,” where we rank the trailers of the past week from best to worst, hopefully sparking your interest in the good ones and providing a safe place for commiserating over the terrible ones.

This was one of the most pitiful weeks on record, with only a handful of new trailers to sort out. Nevertheless, we’ve got your dinosaurs, your kidnapped kids, your animated family features, your distinctive indie film and of course, your machine gun bra-wearing babe-filled blood bath. Pick your poison, gentle reader.

Let’s delve into the few trailers we were given! If you feel like we got it right, let us know in the comments below.

1.) ‘Ain’t Them Bodies Saints’ (BEST OF THE WEEK)

The wild tale of an outlaw who escapes prison and sets out to reunite with the wife he loved and the daughter he’s never met. Bold, beautiful, dusky and vibrant all at once, this movie was positively the darling of the Sundance Film Festival this year, and deservedly so. While this trailer seems to give away quite a bit of the story, it still reserves the greatest secrets for the long form film. It’s lovely to see Rooney Mara a little softer, a little maternal, while still holding her edge, and Casey Affleck plays this kind of deranged reckless man so well, it’s phenomenal casting and acting all around. Is it too early to call it for an Oscar nod for this little film?
Starring: Rooney Mara, Ben Foster, Casey Affleck
Release Date: August 16, 2013

2.) ‘Prisoners’

NO THIS MOVIE IS TOO SAD. The dark and twisted story of two families and their little girls who go missing from the neighborhood, the policeman who vows to bring them back, and the father determined to see his daughter again. High Jackman looks positively riveting as the worried father who refuses to let his daughter go, and Jake Gyllenhaal impresses as a cop who is equally steadfast in his desire to save the little girls. Gyllenhaal as a cop works big time, as we all know from “End of Watch” and there’s finally some justice in the world if creepy Paul Dano is cast as a suspected kidnapper. While this story looks to be heartbreaking, a talented cast and a divisive script makes this absolutely one to watch.
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Jake Gyllenhaal, Viola Davis
Release Date: September 20, 2013

3.) ‘Planes’

Because apparently someone wanted to see yet another weird half-sequel to “Cars” but this time it’s with planes? The plot of this animate feature film will evaporate from your mind the moment you finish watching the trailer, but ughhhh, it’s Pixar so it gets a light pass, and ughhhh, it’s a kids movie and kids will probably love it but, ughhhhhhhh, Dane Cook stars in it because OF COURSE HE DOES. While the plot centers around a little crop-dusting plane that wants to maybe be a big-time racer, there seems to be way too many characters to even keep straight and not enough story going on. Godspeed to those of you who will have to see this with your adorable child in tow.
Starring: Val Kilmer, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Teri Hatcher
Release Date: August 9, 2013

4.) ‘Machete Kills’

Who even cares what the plot of this movie is? All you need is to hear Sofia Vergara’s wild woman scream and see her machine gun bra glinting in the sunlight or see Lady Gaga-as-upside-down-Andy-Warhol-painting loping up a dirty highway to know that there’s a place in this weird world even for you, and yes, you’ve found it. Welcome home! Mel Gibson? Charlie Sheen? This movie was literally crafted from the strangest possible ingredients and here’s hoping they make a tasty brew. Director Rodriguez follows up his 2010 flick “Machete” with this bloodbath and there’s sure to be plenty of brawn, boobs and bloodshed all over the place. Which may not be a bad thing!
Starring: Mel Gibson, Jessica Alba, Alexa Vega
Release Date: September 13, 2013

5.) ‘Monsters University’

Usually we’re opposed to re-releasing trailers since studios tend to release about a million trailers for the same movie over a couple months, but this trailer for “Monsters University” really gives us a great taste of the hilarity to come from this quirky animated sequel to the beloved “Monsters Inc.” Mike and Sulley are in college this time, and we get a look at the inner workings of monster life, the ups and downs and Mike’s journey towards becoming the best scare-er ever. While this is a sequel, Pixar did it right and this one looks to be charming and hilarious.
Starring: Nathan Fillion, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi
Release Date: June 21, 2013

6.) ‘Walking with Dinosaurs: 3-D’

OKAY, first of all there appears to be a scene in this movie where one dinosaur knocks a T-Rex’s TEETH OUT BY HEAD BUTTING HIM. Could there be any greater moment committed to film? I contend that, no, there cannot be. Following a baby dinosaur from egg to… well, it looks like maybe to extinction judging from the hell-fire raining from the skies. Honestly, the Christmastime release date is angling for families to enter into this “immersive” experience, learning about what it was like to be a real dinosaur. However, this movie looks like it may terrify a small child, and the if I was a little kid and I saw this, it might be even worse than the “Land Before Time” series in terms of depressing. Experience life with the dinosaurs at your own risk.
Starring: Charlie Rowe, Angourie Rice
Release Date: December 20, 2013

Come back next week for more rankings and way more trailers!

Categories: Columns, Trailer Roundup

Tags: Ain’t Them Bodies Saints, Machete kills, Monsters University, Prisoners, Trailer showdown, Trailers

Trailer Showdown: Ranking the Week’s Best New Trailers (Jeunet Returns!)

Time for what? Let me hear it. TRAILER SHOWDOWN! That’s right, it’s Friday and time for us to rank the trailers released this week from very best to the very worst.

This week we’ve got a veritable smorgasbord of tasty treats, just barely lounging into fall and smaller indie films certainly seem to rule the day, from small town growing up in “The Young and Prodigious Spivet” and “As Cool As I Am” to films with loads of star power like “We’re the Millers” and “Don Jon”. In any case, whether your tastes range from the wild to the mundane, there’s a movie here that you’re sure to love.

Enough with the blathering, on to the rankings! If you feel like we got it right, let us know in the comments below.

1.) ‘The Young and Prodigious Spivet’

Best of the Week: In this stylized and kinda weird movie from director Jean-Pierre Jeunet, a young inventor takes off on his own, leaving his family behind as he travels to Washington D.C. to accept a prize from the Smithsonian Institute. As long-winded and wild as Jeunet’s films can be, there’s something lovable about this premise of striking out on your own and it’ll be nice to see Helena Bonham Carter not in an unrecognizable wild get-up.
Starring: Helena Bonham Carter, Robert Maillet, Niamh Wilson
Release Date: 2013

2.) ‘Deceptive Practice: The Mysteries and Mentors of Ricky Jay’

A documentary look at one of the finest magicians and tricksters operating in the world today, Ricky Jay is the best of the best practitioners of entertaining deception. This film sees Jay at many ages performing tricks of all kinds, as well as features interviews with his collaborators and mentors. A must-see for any fan of magic and any fan of this wonderfully talented man.
Starring: Ricky Jay
Release Date: 2013

3.) ‘As Cool As I Am’

A coming of age story of a responsible teenager who is trying to make a life with her self-centered parents, who had her when they were teens themselves. Babies raisin’ babies, man, but this looks especially touching and has a flair of the unique about it. Claire Danes is perfectly suited to the role of a selfish mom, and the struggle for happiness is at the center of all human existence. And stuff, you know.
Starring: Claire Danes, James Marsden, Thomas Mann
Release Date: June 21, 2013

4.) ‘Don Jon’

Girls! Pad! Gym! Porn! In this directorial debut from Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the writer/director also stars as a sex-obsessed Italian Jersey boy, who is happily stuck in his ways until he meets a voluptuous, gorgeous girl. The film looks chock full of hilariousness, perfectly weird and it’s fantastic to see Gordon-Levitt branching out from acting to other creative pursuits.
Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Scarlett Johansson, Julianne Moore
Release Date: October 18, 2013

5.) ‘Europa Report’

A thriller that finds a group of astronauts on a mysterious mission to one of Jupiter’s moons. What begins as a simple journey quickly unfolds into a terrifying nightmare. Yep, that’s about it. OH WAIT NO. This space odyssey looks too wonderful to be spoiled, so maybe watch the trailer with one eye shut.
Starring: Sharlto Copley, Michael Nyqvist, Christian Camargo
Release Date: June 27, 2013

6.) ‘Blood Ties’

A sprawling, complicated view of familial ties and broken relationships in the ’70s, Clive Owen and Billy Crudup face off as brothers on opposite sides of the law. This film is riddled with talent, and has all the makings of an emotional powerhouse. Billy Crudup can totally be in all the movies set in the ’70s ’cause he always does it right.
Starring: Zoe Saldana, Mila Kunis, Marion Cotillard, Clive Owen
Release Date: 2013

7.) ‘Maniac’

Elijah Wood playing a serial killer? Yes, please. In this first person POV thriller, he plays the owner of a mannequin shop who kills for sport and pleasure. The premise seems grisly but the execution (pardon my pun) might just be perfection. Wood as a murderer has a kind of perfect symmetry to it as well, and it’ll be fun to see him descend into the darker, creepier side of his personality.
Starring: Elijah Wood, America Olivo, Nora Arnezeder
Release Date: June 21, 2013

8.) ‘Byzantium’

Though we’ve featured this one before, there’s never a bad time for vampires!! A centuries old curse, and two women on the lam caught up in the troubles of a small town find even greater danger when their true nature is revealed. Vampires! Sayyy-oooorsayyy Ronan! This looks beyond, but kind of beyond in a good way. If you’re into the grown up possibilities of vampires, this one’s for you.
Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Gemma Arterton, Caleb Landry Jones
Release Date: June 28, 2013

9.) ‘We’re the Millers’

A comedy where Jennifer Aniston plays a stripper and a bunch of people pretend to be a family to get some marijuana from Mexico to the United States. Implausible, yes? But, if you’ve ever wanted to see Aniston prance about in undies and pretend to strip, now’s your chance. Embarrassing, dumb dialogue, but maybe there’s a few laughs to be found.
Starring: Jennifer Aniston, Emma Roberts, Ed Helms
Release Date: August 9, 2013

10.) ‘Just Like a Woman’

Two down on their luck women leave their homes and troubles in search of a better life through belly dancing. This could be a very moving exposition on the power of female friendship, or it could just be a kind of a waste of time and energy. Sienna Miller is a bit of a chameleon and I actually can’t remember the last movie I saw her in, so good on her.
Starring: Sienna Miller, Golshifteh Farahani, Bahar Soomekh
Release Date: 2013

11.) ‘Metallica Through the Never’

Partial concert film and partial… scenes of demolition and destruction? In any case, it’s apparently Metallica, which is some kind of “heavy” “metal” “band” as you’ve never seen them before, which sort of assumes that you have seen them previously, but I can’t actually think of anyone I know who’s super into Metallica concert films. Nonetheless, I’m sure there are people out there who want, nay, demand a 3-D Metallica experience. This one’s for y’all.
Starring: Dane DeHaan, James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich
Release Date: August 9, 2013

12.) ‘Delivery Man’

In this “comedy,” a mixup at a fertility clinic leads to one man fathering over 500 children, who must decide whether or not to come forward when a bunch of them sue him. Vince Vaughn stars, and while we only see a little snippet of this teaser trailer, this already looks weirdly depressing.
Starring: Cobie Smulders, Vince Vaughn, Chris Pratt
Release Date: November 22, 2013

Come back next week for more rankings!

Categories: Columns, Trailer Roundup

Tags: Blood Ties, Don Jon, Europa Report, Maniac, Ricky Jay, The Young and Prodigious Spivet, Trailer showdown

Trailer Showdown: Rory Gilmore Reigns Supreme in the Week’s Best New Trailer

If it’s Friday, which it is, then that can mean only one thing: Trailer Showdown! Every week, we rank the week’s trailer from best to worst, helping you to plan what movies you definitely need to see and which you can skip without a hint of remorse.

A great week for the quirky independent films about people who eat ice cream, teenage assassins and road workers, as well as for the big, brawny blockbuster types with huge names, huge budgets and huge stakes like saving the world. Also in the mix are two stark, dark horror films that explore the depths of human perversion and a lonely weekend. Whatever you’ve got a hankering for, we’ve got a movie for you.

This week was a toughie, as there was no out-right duds, just some real fantastic movies and a few slightly less fantastic ones. But enough with the jibber jabber, let’s get right into the rankings:

1.) ‘Violet and Daisy’

Best of the Week: Teenage assassins? Rory Gilmore in a movie? An original film with a bizarre premise that isn’t cut and dried? I will take two, please. The film revolves around a pair of friends who are also assassins, worrying about the legitimacy of their latest mark. Is the job just a frame up? A test? Can they survive intact? This trailer makes it look kind of terrible, but I believe in the premise of the film and just how strange and wonderful it seems.
Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Alexis Bledel, Tatiana Maslany
Release Date: June 7, 2013

2.) ‘White House Down’

While on a tour of the White House, a policeman must work hard to save his daughter and others from a group of paramilitary soldiers seeking to overthrow the government. I know everyone is making the obvious joke, but… didn’t we just see this movie, starring Gerard Butler? Yes, “Olympus Has Fallen” is very similar but lacks one essential component: Channing Tatum. This movie, released any other time, might be awesome in its own right, so let’s hope it’s actually is as awesome as it looks.
Starring: Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx, Maggie Gyllenhaal
Release Date: June 28, 2013

3.) ‘Red 2'

Sequels aren’t supposed to look good. Sequels aren’t supposed to look good. Repeat this to yourself the entire time this awesome kick ass trailer is playing. Ex-CIA agent Frank Moses finds a very good reason to get old operative team back together. Even more enticing is Catherine Zeta Jones as a sexy cohort, and of course I’m sure we’ll see Helen Mirren in a bathing suit as that seems to be written into her contract. Filled with action, violence and hilarity, “Red 2? is quickly adding the must-see list.
Starring: Bruce Willis, Anthony Hopkins, John Malkovich
Release Date: July 19, 2013

4.) ‘Prince Avalanche’

The latest from director and writer David Gordon Green is strange, hilarious-looking and stars Paul Rudd and Emile Hirsch. What more could you want? The pair play eccentric road workers during the summer of ’88 who grapple with each other’s oddities and making it through the summer. Weird concept, strange characters and impeccable period appropriate setting make me hopeful for a return to the David Gordon Green of yesteryear.
Starring:
Release Date: August 9, 2013

5.) ‘The History of Future Folk’

An indie film with a unique premise? Sign me up. This movie purports to be the only folk music centric space sci-fi comedy action romance. Finally! A movie that hits every genre! This simple story of a pair of humanoid aliens who were intent on destroying Earth until they heard our music, and subsequently formed a folk band, is silly and sweet. While it may not be a big budget blockbuster, there’s something intriguing and endearing about the premise and execution.
Starring: Nils d’Aulaire, Jay Klaitz, Julie Ann Emery
Release Date: May 31, 2013

6.) ‘Mr. Pip’

In war torn Papua New Guinea, one man seeks to inspire his students with the Dickens novel “Great Expectations”. Little does he know how much of an impact the book will have, inspiring a young girl but potentially making life much harder for everyone around them. This movie looks too saaaaad! Hugh Laurie is gruff but likable as usual, but the story is heartbreaking and based on an award winning novel. Let’s hope there’s a happy ending.
Starring: Hugh Laurie, Kerry Fox, Eka Darville
Release Date: 2013

7.) ‘In Fear’

Beautiful, strange, flickering images of a girl and a boy on a fun weekend gone horribly wrong. This Sundance Film Festival selected horror film gives away very little in the trailer, instead focusing on the look and dark feel of the film. Like a bad dream in the best possible way.
Starring: Iain De Caestecker, Alice Englert, Allen Leech
Release Date: August 23, 2013

8.) ‘Free Samples’

Quirky little indie romantic comedy that puts a hard drinking, beautiful girl in an ice cream truck and sees what happens from there. Romantic entanglements, finding a sense of purpose, and figuring out what life is all about collide in this one. One can only hope it’s not as precious and self-satisfied as it looks, although the fact that it takes place in an ice cream truck isn’t doing it any favors.
Starring: Jess Weixler, Jesse Eisenberg, Jason Ritter
Release Date: 2013

9.) ‘Aftershock’

Worst of the Bunch:
NSFW: A group of friends visiting a Chilean exotic nightclub are forced into survival mode once a massive earthquake hits the area, but things can only go from bad to worse when a gang of prisoners finds their way out into the general populace. Kind of like a wilder, raunchier “The Hangover” gone wrong, and starring horror wunderkid Eli Roth, this one looks to be a mixture of gross out special effects (People getting crushed! Hands getting sliced off!) and good old fashioned suspenseful dread.
Starring: Eli Roth, Andrea Osvárt, Ariel Levy
Release Date: May 10, 2013

Come back next week for more rankings!

Categories: Columns, Trailer Roundup

Tags: Aftershock, Alexis bledel, Prince Avalanche, Trailer showdown, Violet and Daisy, White House Down

Trailer Showdown: Thor Makes ‘Bling Ring’ Put its Crown on the Ground

Friday cometh yet again, and bringeth with it a new Trailer Showdown. Each week we take the best and the worst trailers and rank them in that order, so that you can better plan your movie-going in the months to come.

This week is full up on documentaries, about the war on terror and the war on drugs, but there’s also new trailers for plenty of lighter fare including an amazing new trailer for Sofia Coppola’s “The Bling Ring”, a look at the new Judy Blume adaptation “Tiger Eyes” and of course, a first look at the new “Thor: The Dark World” trailer, which brings both the smack and lays it down.

And now, ranked from best to absolutely the worst, we present this week’s Trailer Showdown! Let us know in the comments if you agree or disagree with our rankings, though of course you’ll agree!

1.) ‘Thor: The Dark World’

Another installment in the “Thor” franchise brings Thor to a very dark place as he attempts to protect his love and defend his home, all of which leads him to make a deal with the devil: his evil brother Loki. Fans of the Marvel universe adore Loki and Thor battling it out, and at this point it feels as if Marvel can do no wrong when it comes to pitch-perfect super hero films. Big budgets, big talent, and decent script? Thor is definitely on our blockbuster fun list.
Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins
Release Date: Nov. 8, 2013

2.) ‘Bling Ring’

Though we won’t feature every single iteration of this trailer, it seemed worth sharing since this time around we get actual dialogue and a peek inside what the film will truly be like. Emma Watson’s accent is amazing, first of all. Second of all, the search for fame and the desire to be a celebrity are fascinating topics and this film could not be coming at a better time. Third of all, Sofia Coppola’s music choices and art direction are spot on as always. Release date cannot get here soon enough.
Starring: Katie Chang, Israel Broussard, Emma Watson
Release Date: June 14, 2013

3.) ‘Tiger Eyes’

Based on a Judy Blume novel, a young girl finds solace in an unexpected friend after a death devastates her family. Judy Blume novels should all obviously be turned into movies, and this one looks to be well-written, touching and moving. In addition to all the mechanics of the film working well together, there is a subtlety that perfectly captures Blume’s delicate take on being a teenager.
Starring: Willa Holland, Amy Jo Johnson, Tatanka Means
Release Date: June 7, 2013

4.) ‘How to Make Money Selling Drugs’

As the title suggests, this documentary will instruct the viewer on how to make money selling drugs. Well, that’s a big tongue in cheek, but it certainly is a direct hit on the drug war in America, exploring the details of drug culture and the laws that we’ve constructed that seem to perpetuate and escalate drug incidents. Insightful and astounding at times, this is one well-done doc.
Starring: Woody Harrelson, Susan Sarandon, Eminem
Release Date: 2013

5.) ‘The Institute’

This documentary takes on a strange San Francisco phenomenon, unfortunately even though I watched the entire trailer I still have no idea what it is. And that is awesome. It’s a rare delight to stumble across something that makes no apologies of the fact that it won’t explain itself, and “The Institute” explores an organization that may be a cult, a game or something else entirely. Can’t wait for this one!
Starring: Jeff Hull, Gordon Mclaughlin, Arye Bender
Release Date: 2013

6.) ‘The Grandmaster’

This is the worst trailer for a movie that very well may be very quiet and beautiful. Instead it’s all flying fists and loud noises. Directed by Wong Kar Wai, the film explores the world of Ip Man, who trained Bruce Lee. Of course there has to be more to the story than that, Wong Kar Wai is one of the most renowned foreign directors, given more to subtlety and emotion than crazy action sequences. Only time will tell what this movie’s really like, but I’m betting it is fantastic.
Starring: Ziyi Zhang, Tony Leung Chiu Wai, Chen Chang
Release Date: August 23, 2013

7.) ‘Dirty Wars’

A documentary that explores the dark underbelly of the current war on terror, exposing the idea that there are massive cover ups and a “secret war” happening right under our noses. The documentarian makes an elegant case, but war documentaries have become an increasingly hard sell for audiences, even though this one is straight out of Sundance. Films like this one can feel so overwhelming, especially if the audience is being presented with facts upon endless facts.
Starring: Nasser Al Aulaqi, Saleha Al Aulaqi, Muqbal Al Kazemi
Release Date: June 7, 2013

8.) ‘RIPD’

Reynolds and Bridges together as a pair of dead law enforcement officers? Very yes, and thank you. This movie looks like a cross between “Men in Black”, a vampire hunting flick and the awfulness of “Ghostrider”. Chock full of silliness and very expensive CGI, this trailer does its level best to throw every single fantastical scene at you, however, this also doesn’t seem like the kind of movie that can actually get spoiled. Dark and dense, this movie might be a bit like trying to eat an entire Devil’s Food cake in one sitting.
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Kevin Bacon, Jeff Bridges
Release Date: July 19, 2013

9.) ‘Ratchet and Clank’

This cute trailer for an animated children’s film makes fun of the very concept of cool trailers, with one of the characters dancing around at the whim of the animators. Silly, yes, but self-aware, which is harder to find. Even though the movie doesn’t come out until 2015, (is that how far in advance we have to release trailers now?!) this gentle reminder is cute enough to pique interest, even if the animation style is not very advanced.
Release Date: 2015

10.) ‘Hatchet III’

The Worst of the Week: A deranged woman walks into a police station and starts spouting off about “killing him,” which leads to one of the bloodiest battles in horror history as dozens of cops take on a mysterious killing force. Part farce, part out of control horror bloodbath, this third installment in the “Hatchet” series looks to be equal parts disgusting and nauseating. Torture porn at its finest.
Starring: Danielle Harris, Kane Hodder, Zach Galligan
Release Date: June 14, 2013

Come back next week for more rankings!

Categories: Columns, Trailer Roundup

Tags: Bling Ring, Sofia coppola, The Grandmasters, Thor: The Dark World, Trailer showdown

First Trailer for ‘Thor: The Dark World’

[From MTV] With “Iron Man 3? a little more than a week away, Marvel has already given us a look at our next trip to the universe of superheroes and villains. The first teaser trailer for “Thor: The Dark World” premiered in the early hours of the morning, and even though the preview clocks in at just under two minutes, we can already see a much different adventure for the Norse god.

“Thor: The Dark World” picks up after the events of “The Avengers.” Thor (Chris Hemsworth) has returned home to Asgard, but a new force threatens both the god’s home world and Earth. As it’s revealed near the end of the trailer, Thor must turn to his brother and rival Loki (Tom Hiddleston) for assistance when trying to save the Nine Realms from the dark elves.

Natalie Portman makes a welcome return to the Marvel universe as Jane Foster, Thor’s Earth-bound love, who finds herself in Asgard shortly after the start of the preview. A menacing voice over from the film’s main baddie, the dark elf Malekith, played by “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” actor Christopher Eccleston, suggests that Jane may stand directly in harm’s way with only Thor to protect her.

Read more at MTV, and be sure to check out the brand new trailer, embedded above!

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Tags: Marvel, Thor: The Dark World, Trailer